This blog might not make much sense.
I have been thinking so much about life and how I fit in it.
More like how I want to live it. How I want to live with myself.
I have realized that I want someone like Robert Pattinson because I want to be like him.
Someone who is comfortable with them self no matter what.
He knows who he is and I want to know who I am.
I enjoy things that I like. And I either fix or learn to live with the things I don't like.
I don't want to be defined by what I enjoy, but I don't want to say that they aren't a part of who I am.
I was thinking about it and I don't want to be so effected events around me. But I don't want to be so apathetic I hinder those around me and eventually limit my own growth. I have concluded that my own worth is not dictated by anything I or anyone else does. The Savior Jesus Christ says that I am priceless, and I believe Him. But I am not going to make myself to be more than I am.
When I don't like something about myself I will fix it. I believe in growth and change. So instead of my own perception of my value fluctuating radically, it will just be a steady stream of self acceptance. I don't want to ignore life's up and downs and not find joy or sorrow. I don't want to lie to myself and say that everything is peachy keen or that life sucks.
Honestly life is a collection of experiences good and bad. I am willing to see both and take them for what they are. I will find pleasure in the good things of my life, and learn from the bad things. Nothing more, nothing less. I am tired of constant up and downs in my life.
It felt like I was being dragged along a road with mountains and valley. So i decided instead of being pulled along by a car where the driver changed with the guy I was currently into, I decided to shove him out and drive the damn car myself. I will drive the road and go as fast as I want, I will take the corners with as much grace or as much roughness as I please.
I am not going to say I am a happy person, because sometimes I am not. If I did I would fell tied to a label that I would have to live by and then I would have to put on a mask when I was upset or angry. No, I am human. I go through a wide range of emotions, especially right before Aunt Flo comes to town.
I am still ironing out a few details but essentially I have learned to come to self acceptance. I am going to be cheesie and say;
"Remember who you are!"
which I know doesn't sound as good coming from me as it does coming from an animated lion spirit. But it's true. Just remember yourself and your own worth in this world. And in the words of the master of self reflection, Shakespeare;
"This above all to thine own self be true"
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